Feeling a bit 'meh.'

Yesterday was my birthday, and the end of the chocolate ban. I enjoyed a couple of small pieces of chocolate, as well as Cake-in-five-minutes*, because birthdays need cake. I didn't go hog wild and down several bars of chocolate on my own. So in that sense, it was a bit of a triumph. I did happen to drink a little over half of a bottle of wine on my own during the course of the evening, though. Oops!

Today, though, was my weigh in at the medical centre. It was less than inspiring. According to that scale, I'm just a half a kilo down from two weeks ago. Granted, this is in the afternoon, with clothes on, but it's still discouraging. I suppose, though, that it should be.

I'm doing really well with my weight lifting program, but I'm not getting in near enough cardio. And though I am eating generally healthy things, I'm still eating too much. I really should switch to Splenda in my coffee, or at least cut down on the sugar I use. I need to up my water intake. I used to be really good about drinking loads of water every day, but lately I'm lucky if I manage to get two or three pint glasses down.

What it all comes down to is that I need to step up my game. I'm trying not to beat myself up over this, because it's not worth it. "Trying" being the operative word. I'll still have my official stat update weigh in on Friday morning, so we'll see how I do then. If I have a gain (which I'm pretty much expecting), then so be it. I'll work harder.

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On the good side of things, I have a job interview tomorrow for a part time manager position at a nearby charity shop. I have good feelings about it. If I get it, I'll be able to afford to join the gym down the road. That would completely solve my lack of cardio problem... I'm one of those weird people that LOVES zoning out on an elliptical machine (or a stationary bike) with a good audio book (David Sedaris books have been some of the best gym companions I've ever had) and really pushing myself with the interval training programs. Not to mention the fact that because ellipticals are low impact, I can go on for ages without my arthritic left knee flaring up (unlike with running).

That job will also get me out of the house more, and I'll meet a hell of a lot more people, which I could really use for my sanity. Cross your fingers for me!

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In the meantime though, I need to get some more exercise video goodness happening. I have the New York City Ballet Workout (volumes one and two) and that should be okay once a week or so, but I'd like some others for some variety. Maybe I can take up Tae Bo again. I've tried Pump It Up from Ministry of Sound, but it's a bit advanced for me at the moment and the movements are a bit too quick. Does anyone else have recommendations?



*I'll post the modified recipe I use, as well as a link back to the original, at some point in the next couple of days.

Lifting and Porridge

I bought a book called The New Rules of Lifting for Women* right before I left the States, as a friend of mine who had been using it highly recommended it. I only got around to starting up the program a week and a half ago (yay culture shock and depression and moving to a new house, oh my).

I'm really enjoying it so far. I have had to make a few adjustments (as I have no barbell or access to weight lifting machines at the moment), but thankfully they offer many variations on an exercise so that you can work with what you DO have**. It helps to be resourceful as well. I have no step and no stairs in my house so...

I've been using a couple of Harry Potter books as a step. It works pretty well! Plus I can add more volumes if I want to make it a bit taller. (I'm currently using Goblet of Fire and Order of the Phoenix... and yes, I shipped my American copies over here, because I am INSANE.) In the past week and a half though, I've been able to progress from 60 degree pushups using the kitchen counter to 45 degree pushups using a window ledge. And the evil prone jackknife*** (though still VERY difficult), is finally starting to get a bit easier.

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In other news, I have porridge and cereal from Dorset Cereals! Shauna aka DietGirl had a giveaway bonanza last month in celebration of her blog turning 9. I was lucky enough to win one of the random draws and received these in the mail yesterday:

I haven't gotten a chance to try the cereal yet, but I pounced on the porridge this morning. Back in the States, I loved me some oatmeal. I'd started buying the big canisters of Quaker Oats and tossing in a bit of brown sugar and nuts, sometimes some dried fruit. I made it with water (as is the standard over there), and instead of cooking the oatmeal itself I heated the water up and poured it on the dry oats. This ensured that I would not end up with a goopy, sticky, paste-like consistency. I am a texture person. If a texture is wrong for me, I won't eat it.  

Since I'd moved to England, I had yet to eat porridge that didn't end up horrible and glue like, no matter how I made it: with water or milk, cooked in the liquid or hot liquid poured over. This made me sad. HOWEVER! Dorset Cereals Fruity Porridge with apples and raisins? Perfect. I'm loving oatmeal/porridge again! I even had it with milk (which still seems a bit weird to me). The only thing I would do differently is to add just a touch of muscovado sugar (for those in the States: think dark brown sugar's much darker and denser cousin) to give it a bit of sweetness.

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Michael and I are going to be doing our first online shop today. So we'll be loosely planning a menu for the week. Exciting! Plus, this way, I don't have to eye all the chocolate in our local shop (less than a week to go on the ban). I'll report back on how it went after we get our groceries.

*The New Rules of Lifting for Women: Lift Like a Man, Look Like a Goddess by Lou Schuler with Cassandra Forsythe, M.S. with workout programs by Alwyn Cosgrove. It can be found on Amazon both in the US and the UK.
**The only one I've been having a hard time adapting are the lat pulldowns... I have been making sure to replace it with another pulling exercise and try to make sure it works the same muscle group, but it's been a bit difficult. 
***Don't know what a prone jackknife is? Check out this handy youtube video!

No longer living in the dark ages

And by dark ages, I mean only being able to access the internet from my fancy touchscreen phone. Heh. At any rate, BT has finally sorted out our broadband connection! Hooray! Now I can get some serious posting done.

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I did get weighed yesterday. Sadly, it looked as though I gained back the kilo I lost two weeks ago. I was a bit upset, as I've been eating well and doing plenty of exercise, but it didn't immediately make me want to run into the shop across the street and buy half of their chocolate supply. That's a plus.

I know weight fluctuations are normal. However, this has prompted me to finally go out and get a scale for home because I realized that I was being weighed in the afternoon, and that (pardon the TMI here) I hadn't had a poo that day. So I'm going to grab a scale tonight when we're in town, and report back tomorrow morning and update my stats on the sidebar. If I really did gain the kilo back, so be it. But then I'll know for sure.

My blood pressure was fantastic though. WOO!

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After just over two weeks of the Chocolate Ban, its still going strong. The only instances of cocoa that have passed my lips were a few mugs of Ovaltine, some cocoa powder on a couple cappuccinos, and some itty bitty flakes in little pots of nonfat yogurt. No chocolate bars, no chocolate biscuits or muffins, no chocolate cereals, no Cadbury cream eggs or Terry's chocolate oranges. There has been some whining and longing looks in the shops, but that's where it would always end. Overall, I'm very pleased!

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Since I've already mentioned poo in this post, I think it's safe to mention farting. My goodness, the farting. Since I've started including a ton more veggies in my diet, I have had the Worst Gas Ever [TM]. Noxious, vile stuff. It seems to have calmed down a bit, and I've read it eventually goes away after your digestive system gets used to it. Here's hoping that happens soon!

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That's all for now. I do have a handful of other posts (with photos and everything! ooh!) lined up, so check back in the next few days!

Lock down

I have officially enjoyed my last bit of chocolate for four weeks (until my birthday on the 16th). It was the last four squares of a lovely 30p Somerfield dark chocolate bar. I still think it's a bit nuts how cheap that stuff is for how good it tastes.

This is going to be a bit mentally challenging, as chocolate is one of those things that makes my brain go, "I WANT, I NEED," especially during PMS and crazy period times. There have been times when I didn't have any and would literally pace around the kitchen looking for something to fill that gap. Then I'd eat a load of other stuff and would still find myself unsatisfied and craving chocolate even more. If I can train myself that it's just a treat and not a necessity, I think I'll be in a good place. I know it will probably take longer than four weeks to accomplish that, but I think it's a good start.

Michael (my husband) is taking the rest of what we had in the house to work with him, and we won't bring any into the house in that four week period. (We should be mostly moved in tomorrow, fingers crossed!) We'll also be stocking a lot of fruit.

Feeling a bit of withdrawal already, but it's for the best.



WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Begin again at the beginning

Last week, a doctor told me she couldn't renew my prescription for birth control because I was too fat. She was also unable to take my blood pressure because the machine couldn't read me (though I'd had no problem before when I was heavier, but I was in the States then). She had me step on the scale, and looked a bit horrified and disgusted. Or maybe I just thought she did, because I was embarrassed and ashamed after what she'd already said.

The scale was metric, and she couldn't tell me what my weight was in pounds, but she did convert it to stone. I didn't actually find out until I plugged the numbers into a unit converter after I got home. She wanted me to schedule a "lifestyle" appointment (I'm assuming it's something to do with talking to a nurse about nutrition and exercise). I left the medical centre trying not to cry. I hadn't realized the problem had gotten that bad again.

I am now about 10 pounds below the only weight I can remember being recorded when I was at my heaviest six years ago. Since then I'd lost and gained and lost again, never breaking the 200 barrier. All of those times I was doing it on my own, and didn't have a system in place to keep me accountable. So I'd keep failing and reverting back to eating things I knew were bad for me, and eating when I was sad or bored or happy or just because I wanted the taste of something in my mouth (in many previous entries of her blog, Dietgirl mentions textures as well, and that's part of it too). I told my husband the other day that I seem to have an oral fixation in the way a smoker does. After the general HUR HUR ORAL was out of the way, he agreed. I graze a bit. I'm always eating something or drinking something unless I can distract myself.

We've already started eating more healthy food. More fruit and veg. I've switched to skimmed milk for my coffee (still semi-skimmed for drinking by itself and cereal). I was originally allowing myself a tiny amount of chocolate a day, but that has proven dangerous. So, as we're in the middle of moving house, I've decided that there will be no chocolate going into the new place. I'm giving it up until my birthday (February 16th). Which will be hard, but it needs to be done to help curb the addiction so that one day I'll be able to enjoy some quality chocolate and not want to eat a truck load.

My husband is being very supportive, and is in fact doing this along with me as he has a little bit of weight he'd like to shed. I think with his support (as well as writing everything down) I'll be able to make a real go at this and succeed.

As you can see, I've put my stats in the sidebar. Just starting numbers. I don't have a scale yet, so it might be a while until I update that (but I might see if the nurse will weigh me when I go in on Wednesday).

Here goes nothing!